Why it’s Important to ask for Help

June 16, 2020

There are many times in our lives when we think about asking for help. Perhaps we don’t understand what our teacher or boss is saying. Perhaps we are too exhausted to do the dinner or wash the dishes. Maybe we need someone to look after the kids, the house, our pets. 

What stops us?

The fear of being weak.

In a rational sense, no one can immediately know everything in life – no one can be an expert at absolutely everything – and yet a lot of us grow up thinking we have to. From the first time we start school, to the career we end up in twenty years later, there is a niggling of hesitation inside us that doesn’t want to admit we don’t know something, and doesn’t want to feel like we need to rely on someone else to get something done.

Why is asking for help considered a weakness?

The truth is: no one is perfect. We all know it’s true, and yet a lot of us strive for perfection every day of our lives. We would rather end the day in complete exhaustion than let someone help us and risk losing our sense of pride.

It’s all about letting go of the ego.

It is only once we let go of the ego and allow ourselves to be honest in our approach to subjects we have no knowledge of, that we can grow. If we do not have the courage to ask for help, how will we learn? How will we become better and do better?

Staying silent = limiting our ability to evolve.

But if you speak up, you are practising self-awareness. You are showing that you are strong enough to accept the parts of yourself that aren’t perfect. And we all have them. Every single person has them. You may find that the more you open up and ask for help, the more other people will be honest in return with you. 

The benefits of asking for help.

Asking for help will help you progress faster, for example getting an expert to set up a landing page or Facebook ad for business will mean you get the task done more quickly and effectively. It also helps generate a growth mindset, you know you are infallible and can learn from others. It helps boost relatedness with others. Relatedness has been proven to be a basic psychological need –the desire to have meaningful and caring relationships with others. Having people regularly help you will definitely fulfil this need and make you feel happy. Seeking help also makes you grateful. An attitude of gratitude has several positive effects such as the production of serotonin and dopamine in the brain, improvement of sleep, reduction of stress and physical complaints, and the reduction of fear and depression. You can read about it more here https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-gratitude/.

Why not try asking for help over the next month? 

Think about all the activities you do in your everyday life. Where are you limiting yourself? Where can you ask someone to help? 

It could be asking your partner to cook dinner so you can have a night off. It could be asking a friend to look after the kids. It could be asking your boss to reiterate what you need to do. It can be anything! 

But don’t let fear hold you back. 

Remind yourself that you can’t be successful on your own. As much as you may not want to admit it, we all need the support of other people to be the person we want to be.

For more tips and inspiration join my Facebook community the Coaching Collective.

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