Why having Difficult Conversations is ImportantJune 8, 2020
Life is busy. We are all guilty of getting caught up in our plans, endless things to do, people to meet. Sometimes we forget how we really feel, about a lot of things, and we forget what meaning certain things have in our lives.
Opening yourself up to have difficult conversations, with both yourself and others, is so important for making beneficial progress in your own life. If you don’t take a second to tune into your inner dialogue, and what you really want out of your life, it’s easy to get swept away with the tide, and before you know it, it’s too late.
The current climate and the recent protests highlighting #blacklivesmatter make having difficult conversations around racism, white privilege and allyship even more important right now.
Now is not the time to be silent
Now is the time to take action.
Now is the time to have difficult conversations.
If you can’t find the words or you don’t know what to say, educate yourself. There are lots of resources and books that you can read and watch. antiracismforbeginners.com
But it’s also important to get clear on your core beliefs and values first.
Getting Clear on your Core Beliefs and Values
A great exercise for tuning into your core beliefs and values is using the power of writing. Grab a pen and a piece of paper, split it into three columns, and write down these three lists:
- Everything you want to be
- Everything you want to do
- Everything you want to have
Then, ask yourself why they are so important to you. The ones that have a prominent why, are likely your priorities. When you compare it to your everyday life, are you actively working towards these dreams of yours every day? If not, what is stopping you?
The key to having a difficult conversation with yourself is being brutally honest. Think about how long you’ve been stuck in the same place, not making the changes that deep down you’ve been meaning to make for a long time. Are you genuinely fulfilled in your life? Are you where you want to be? What have you, when you really think about it, been neglecting?
A good way of tackling your list and achieving those things you really want to achieve is to:
- Schedule in time
- Measure your progress
- Grab a friend, family member, or your partner to act as your accountability partner (you can check in with them and let them know how you’re doing, and they will encourage you to stick with it)
The changes you would like to make could be anything from prioritising quality time with someone, marketing your business on a new platform, starting an exercise routine, learning something new. Or, perhaps, you would like to focus on a specific quality of yours, such as gaining more confidence by pushing yourself out of your comfort zone or being kinder to those around you. For these, schedule in confidence-boosting events and acts of kindness.
Feel the fear and do it anyway
The number one reason why we don’t do something is out of fear, so pretend your insecurities and fears are out of the question.
What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
What kind of life would you live? Go and chase it.
For more tips and inspiration join my Facebook community the Coaching Collective.