Do you follow through on your commitments? Or do you want to know how? Our ability to stick to our goals rather than give up on our commitments all comes down to our habits and belief structure. When we aren’t following through, we are often saying one thing and behaving another way. It is all down to a lack of alignment.
As coaches, clients look to us for role model behaviour. We can’t promote daily exercise if we are sitting at home eating cream cakes. How do we expect our clients to hold standards that we ourselves are unable to commit to?
If we constantly tell ourselves “I’m going to do this” or “I’m going to do that” and then we don’t follow through, we come across as a person who’s half-arsed, who doesn’t really care about what we’re doing, and no one wants to be that person. It sends a message to our brain that it’s okay to talk about things and not do them, and where does that get us?
To hold commitments to ourselves we need to make sure that those we choose to do are important to us and that we’re fully connected to the good that they’re going to bring us.
Why do we fail at commitments?
The number one reason for failing is because we make it unnecessarily hard for ourselves. We overload ourselves with all this information – how to achieve success, what other millionaires and billionaires are doing – that we make it physically impossible to keep up with ourselves. We go from one extreme to the other. No exercise to 1 hour of daily yoga. No writing to 5,000 words a day.
The problem with this is that, when we fail, this becomes our new reality. We think that because we didn’t achieve it to the standard we wanted – a standard too high for ourselves – that we are incapable of achieving it at all. And that’s just not the case. If you want more tips on staying motivated you can read my blog, which has some great tips – How to Stay Motivated.
What’s the alternative?
To overcome this, we must start small and build up one step at a time. If you want to practice meditation every day, don’t start with 20 minutes. Start with 1 minute. Then add a minute each time. It’s not weak to start small – it ensures greater success. James Clear’s book Atomic Habits talks about habit stacking where you can add changes to your daily routine that you stick to – James Clear; Habit Stacking.
Right now, think of a commitment you want to hold yourself to. Perhaps it is exercise, meditation, writing a book. What does it look like? What does it feel like? And connect deeply to your why.
Most importantly, make it non-negotiable. Go all-in. Schedule for success and keep yourself accountable. Because the truth is, if you start to show up for yourself, you’re going to show up for others, and you’re going to show up on a much deeper level.
For more tips and inspiration join my free Facebook community – The Coaching Collective.