How many of you have made goals for yourself within the last year? How many of you made those goals for yourself, rather than other people?
In a goal-orientated culture, it can be easy to fall into the “me too” approach, seeing other people’s goals and using them for ourselves, thinking it is worthwhile. This could be losing two stone in weight or exercising every day, giving up alcohol or going to bed earlier every night. There is nothing wrong with any of these goals, but ask yourself: are you doing them for yourself, or because everyone else is doing them?
Try to throw away the goals of other people. Connect with your own inner self and what has meaning to you, rather than creating goals out of vanity or appearance value.
Write down: what is important to me?
List down the first things that pop into your head.
If you find it difficult, try writing three things you’re grateful for each day. This will reveal what is important to you by effect, as you notice the common themes that are recurring, such as family, health or career. If your emotions are holding you back you can read more about how to overcome them in the blog – How to Overcome Emotional Ties.
Once you have an idea of your inner values, it is much easier to create a goal for yourself. One problem with goal setting is focusing too much on performance. It is something that trips a lot of people up, because it is often used to measure success, rather than focusing on the development and the journey. As a result, a negative mindset is often produced when a performance goal isn’t completed.
Create a mastery goal, one that embodies all the things that are important to you!
This is something unrelated to performance, to money, to anything numerical or reward-based. A mastery goal is your deeper internal purpose – why you do what you do and why you walk the planet.
Thinking of a mastery goal isn’t something instant – and working towards it isn’t immediate either – but see it as a commitment, something to grow towards. Some examples of mastery goals could be to become a sportsperson, a writer, or an influential speaker. Or, your mastery goal could be more about a feeling: to coach wisdom to others, to help people, to give out happiness. To learn more read this blog about performance versus mastery goals.
Performance goals are useful for motivation and you may like to keep them alongside your mastery goal, but you’ll often find that once you’re focused on your mastery goal, your performance goal will follow anyway. If you have a deeper purpose to something, reaching and achieving your goals is less of a chore.
So, don’t let the façade of anyone else’s meaning and purpose prevent you from seeking your own. Find what is important to you and make yourself a master of your own life.
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