What do you REALLY want?

When did you last sit down and think about what you really want?

We often sleep walk through life and make choices based on our desires in that moment. We block our dreams as we feel they are unobtainable or we fail to commit to new ventures because we are scared of failure (or success).

I spent years, if not decades of my life dreading Monday mornings and work. Of course, I had some great times and I was successful in my career however I also had times where I felt that I was just getting through the days and the weeks. I remember a friend admitting she felt “numb” and she was going through the motions as she didn't know what else to do.

My whole life I had believed that if I went to university and worked hard I would be successful. I hadn't really thought about what success meant to me. So I did what I was meant to do and went off to uni (albeit a couple of years late) and then worked in the city before moving into education.  So far, so good. 

I have always wanted to do well and worked hard at my job and moved up the ladder. It was meant to be more fulfilling the further up you climbed but I didn't find that, I found it was lonelier and more frustrating in many ways as you were rarely given full autonomy to make decisions. 

I had a flat, a good social life and spent summers travelling. However, if you asked me if I was happy I would have said no.

On the surface I seemed to “have it all” but underneath I felt like I was living a lie. I was convinced that I couldn't do anything else so I felt “stuck” in my job. When I got pregnant I certainly thought that was it, there was nothing else I could do so I needed to suck it up and stick it out. 

It wasn't until I had my hand forced with a lack of flexible working options at work that meant I had to really consider what I wanted.

And I realised I had been living a lie for a long time, the glittering career was never what I really wanted it was what I told myself I “should” do.

Business was my passion and combining a way of helping people and making money seemed to be a step too far. I didn't believe that it was possible.

Spending time focusing on what I wanted and how I wanted my life to look (both business and personal) was transformational. If you have time I recommend that you find somewhere quiet and journal for 30 minutes. I love the Be, Do, Have as a starter activity.

Write down everything that you want to Be, Do and Have. 

Now look at the list – which of these are non-negoitables for you? 

Refine your list to include your top 3 goals for your life and your career. Now you know where you are going what action can you start taking today?

Ruth x

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