Have you given up on your resolutions already? Why this isn’t all bad

Ruth Kudzi37

My instagram feed has been peppered with people posting wine, chocolate or prosecco and saying how they have “failed” their resolutions already. 

We all fear failure, it is what stops so many people from achieving their dreams and going for what they really want BUT it isn't necessarily a bad thing. 

If you are like me and you read autobiographies you will realise that successful people also failed. Joe Wicks (AKA The BodyCoach) trained as a teacher and it wasn't for him, he is now one of the most successful entrepreneurs in the country. 

Failure means that you tried something, probably something that you hadn't tried before or that was taking you out of your comfort zone. 

Change isn't easy, if you are trying to break a habit or create a new one it can take up to 66 days for the it to become part of your routine and new neural pathways to be embedded in your brain.

Change can be messy, that old saying two steps forward, two steps back is true. You are doing something you might never have done before so your journey might be rocky, this is normal. 

The media makes a big thing about January being a fresh start, new year – new you so you feel this pressure to jump on the bandwagon and do dry January, or go to the gym every day or stop eating chocolate.

The thing is if you don't get any personal satisfaction out of your resolution it's going to be harder to stick to. 

If you don't get any social support it can be close to impossible. If you are meeting a friend for drinks and they don't support your dry January efforts most of us would crumble pretty quickly (and hats off to you if you do)

If you have slipped up on your resolutions already you can make a choice – is what you are doing really important to you? will it being you intrinsic rewards and extrinsic rewards? If it will then start again and think about what you have learnt. If it isn't ditch it.

Think about what you really want to do this year and start taking the steps you can towards it. If you want to be more healthy it might mean having more alcohol free days and exercising regularly but a weekend blowout every once in a whole isn't going to put you off track in the scheme of things.

If you want to live the life of your dreams be prepared to fail, think about what you will learn from it and embrace it.

I have built up my own successful business and I have failed so many times – firstly I failed to create a niche for myself, then I failed to get a decent website built, then I failed to get my facebook ads to work, then I failed with my email marketing. I could go on.

Every time I failed I learnt and I grew – I now have facebook ads that convert into paying clients (it has been a LONG journey) my website is much better and I have a distinctive niche.

Start to think of failures as part of your journey. Remember if you aren't failing you aren't going for what you really want.

So, if you slipped up and had a glass of wine or some chocolate or (shock horror) missed a day at the gym don't beat yourself up about it. You are human and life is short, there is always tomorrow. 

Ruth Kudzi is a Business and Mindset Coach for Mums. She specialises in working with mums who want to start up or develop their own business to create their ideal work / life balance. She has a MA in Psychology, a BA in Management Studies & Psychology and numerous coaching qualifications. To find out how she can help you email her at info@ruthkudzicoaching.com

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