Why I have stopped letting negativity and bad attitudes affect me

September 19, 2016

Putting yourself out there as an entrepreneur means that you are opening yourself to criticism and negativity from people. This has been amplified by the fact that so much of my business and marketing is done via social media and online channels which are notorious for trolling and such like. If I wasn't able to brush off some of the negativity, rudeness and bad attitudes that I get on a daily basis I would be a pretty rubbish coach and a wreck of a person.

I was reflecting on this earlier today when a potential client failed to call me at their alloted time for a free coaching call, failed to email and didn't respond to my message to check all was okay and we were going ahead. In the past I would have let something like this really effect my confidence and take it personally, now I let myself be a bit pissed off for 10 minutes (I had rushed back from being at the beach with my daughters to take the call and prepare myself) but then I reflected – if someone can't even be bothered to cancel a call I don't want to be working with them. (Disclaimer – if I find out that this lady had something horrendous happen to her I take back my words but this isn't the first time I have been victim to such tardy behaviour) 

As an entrepreneur building my business I have to put myself out there, I appreciate that a Facebook message from me might not be your cup of tea, however if it isn't there is no need to reply. I thought that was pretty logical, when I was researching exactly what type of coach I wanted to be I signed up to a lot of peoples mailing lists. I get a lot of emails and Facebook messages, some of which I engage with, others I don't (and its not always even logical which I do and which I don't). In my world if you can't say something positive don't bother.

So, I was blown away when someone sent me an email back saying that she was much more experienced than I was (not knowing anything about me) and why would someone like her possibly want a coach. She obviously didn't understand what coaching is and even if she was a million times more successful than me why would you belittle someone? I did my kind of therapy – a rant on a freelancers Facebook page and then a 20 minute HIT exercise session and then I realised that even the rant was giving this lady too much of my headspace. She didn't get it, her loss, move on.

I could list many more things that happen to me on a daily basis that are negative or rude but there isn't any point. I love feedback and I love my clients engaging with me and when they say things that might be harsh but true I usually agree (for example one of my lovely clients asked me if I would like to speak to her friend who designed websites as mine was not very good – I did already know this and lets say watch this space version 2 will be launched soon). But negativity for negativities sake doesn't have a place in my business or in my life anymore – there aren't enough hours in the day and I refuse to give up my headspace to anything other than positive vibes.

I am currently on holiday with my family and my biggest pleasure today was seeing my (nearly) 2 year old playing on the beach and making sandcastles for the first time. I came back to receive some really positive messages from a lady who choose not to move forward with coaching at this time but referred two friends who want to, a friend who is arranging a meeting with someone in her company and another lady who wants me to talk at events. This was on top of 2 brilliant calls this morning resulting in new clients. I could spend my time dwelling on the things that haven't gone so well but in reality positivity breads positivity and its a hell of a better place to be at.

So, if I can give you one piece of advise this week (I am not coaching at the moment so can give advise :-)) it would be to ditch the negative vibes and focus on the positive – it makes everything feel better pretty instantly. 

Ruth x

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