Does fear of failure stop you wanting to change?August 31, 2016
Do you know what the biggest thing that is stopping you make those changes and achieve your goals? It is you and how you think about yourself. The number one reason you aren't achieving your goals isn't because you aren't good enough it is because you don't feel that you are good enough and you have underlying negative beliefs about yourself that are holding you back. You might fear failure, you might feel that you are not good enough as you are too old / young / overqualified / under qualified. In short, you lack the confidence in yourself to make the changes and sometimes it is a lot easier to stay where we are rather than challenge ourselves (and our beliefs about ourselves)
Remember when you were a child getting ready to go back to school after the 6 week holiday. How did you feel? where you excited? nervous? anxious? or ambivalent? I am sure most of us felt a degree of anxiety or nerves at returning to our starting school. It is completely normal to feel like this and you will have taken those feelings through to your adult life. What may have started as a belief that you wouldn't make friends at secondary school as you weren't good enough may have developed into a belief that you won't get clients if you start your own business as again you aren't good enough. Do you see the connection?
In coaching, we rarely look at the past as it is all about achieving a future goal however we do challenge limiting beliefs about yourself. I love hearing a client reframe their belief from a negative to a positive and see how it has a positive impact on how they feel about themselves and the achievement of their goals. When you acknowledge that it is you that is holding yourself back and that you can eradicate these negative beliefs that you hold about yourself it is truly liberating.
Confidence is a funny thing, we all have times when our confidence might dip but some of us are so overwhelmed by a lack of confidence we don't take risks or leave our comfort zone. I know that when I became a mum I had a massive dip in confidence, in some ways I felt great – I had a beautiful little girl but in others I felt awful I didn't feel like “me” anymore (and the 3 1/2 pregnancy weight gain didn't help!) I let my lack of confidence chip away at me and started to become someone who didn't take risks or try new situations. That's the point, it is a self fulfilling prophecy if you are feeling something it affects the way you act and soon you become exactly what you fear. But, this isn't the only way – I can help you break this cycle
After speaking to many of my subscribers and mums in various Facebook groups I have realised that confidence is the biggest thing that is holding you back from starting to make changes. I have put together a free 5 day course on confidence which is starting next Monday and will be available to all my subscribers on my website and members of my group Ruth Kudzi Coaching on Facebook. If you are interested please sign up ASAP so you don't miss out.