The truth about life coaching for mumsAugust 26, 2016
I am sure that some of you are thinking so what is life coaching and why will it have any benefit for that mums? I am going to be 100% honest here, life coaching isn't a mystery. It works because it tunes into your basic need to be listened to. Everyone loves the sound of their own voice (and after a few glasses of wine we think everyone needs to know hear us) but often when we are speaking to people we aren't really listening we are just “queuing” waiting to get our word in. When you receive coaching you are getting someone who is really listening to you and asking you those meaningful questions about you and what you are about. Sounds good? every single one of my clients that has feedback to me and said a key thing that they have found useful in coaching is to be listened to.
Now you might be saying, well that's nothing new my partner / best friend / mum always listens to me and I am also a great listener, I always give great advice.. Now this is key, yes I am sure there are loads of people in your life that listen to you and if these people are close to you they care about you and what you are doing as well. But, and be honest here, are these people really non-judgemental when it comes to you? We all have our own agendas and I know that when I am speaking to my partner I am listening but I do have an element of self interest there. A coach is completely non-judgemental, if you are saying that you are finding it hard to adjust to being a mum, you feel that your identity has gone or that you can resent your children – I won't judge you, I will listen and work with you on what you want to change. No judgement here!
So a coach listens to you, they are non judgemental, what else? A coach doesn't give advise. For me, this a crucial part of the coaching relationship and what makes it unique. When we are having conversations with friends, family, even at work how often do we listen and get the other person to come to their own conclusions? I would say rarely. Even when I have used coaching at work I do find it very difficult not to give them some advise – especially when I am their line manager and I figure I know how to do it the best.. So, we don't give advise – what the hell do we do then? We get you to talk through and think through situations and come up with your own goals and actions. It is cheesy, but true, we are responsible for our own destiny and therefore to really make change you need to own that change so you need to decide what you really want to do and how you will do it. Staying on a slightly fromage theme, you know yourself and your life better than anyone else so if you don't have the answers then who the hell does?
The thing that I find most useful about my coach is that you are accountable to someone, not to yourself (because we all know that doesn't always work), or your partner or your mum. I admit I have told a few white lies to my partner when I have shared my goals with him, specifically about weight loss, there seems to be a mystery rolo eater in my house is all I am saying and its certainly not me as my goal is to be a perfect size 10 for our wedding next year.. With a coach, you don't tell those lies – you are paying them so you would have to be pretty silly not to be 100% truthful. The fact that you are telling the truth and you have someone checking that you have completed your actions weekly means you are a hell of a lot more likely to do them. Your best friend might be encouraging you to set up your own business but is she going to check you have done all the things that you said you would? probably not, so this is where coaching can help. I think its really crucial for mums as we often have to do lists as long as our arms so coaching helps to give clarity and focus.
Finally, I would say that for mums coaching is great for your mental wellbeing and for your confidence. I do a lot of work with mums around confidence as it seems to be something lots of us lack, or misplace when we have children. Coaching is purely about you – not about your kids, your partner, your family but you. It is an hour a week where you can focus on what is important to you and you can make the changes that you want. When we are juggling a million balls to have that time and space to focus on yourself feels bloody good, and we all know if we take time for ourselves we are a hell of a better mother / partner / person.
I offer a free 45 minute call to anyone interested in coaching with me, you have no obligation to take the relationship further and I am able to talk to you about what coaching is, how I work and most importantly YOU and what you want to achieve. If you are keen please email me at email@example.com or call me on 07971429338 and we will arrange a session. I look